Nowhere But Boring

Fearless_FreddieSo, Day Six. This is going to suck hard. You’ve been warned. It’s now been very nearly 30 minutes and what I have right now is a massively screwed up mess. Hey, here’s a sample:

Stop trying to make it good. Let it suck. Let it suck hard.

Listen, I know it really matters to you. I know you want it to be good. You want it so hard it hurts. You want it so hard it’s not going to be good, because you’re trying too hard.

Just let it go. Let it go let it go let it go. What the heck ever, let it go.

I really can’t do this tonight. This sucks.

K, right? This is what writing is like sometimes. Sometimes it just sucks. Remember yesterday how I said that writing a book turned out not to be very much like I expected it to be? This is one of those things I didn’t know: That more than half the time I would sit down at the computer and think, “Wow, this sucks. I don’t even want to be here.”

And then I’m there anyway, and sometimes it turns out really well despite how much it sucked doing it, and sometimes it sucks really hard and I throw it all away later.

So here’s the thing, folks. I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. Nobody does really. Ever. Not this blog entry, not my book, not my business, not my kids, not my life. We’re all operating like blind people, peering into the darkness of the future looking for answers. And the future is kind of a jerk, you know, just keeps saying, no, sorry, you have to make all the important decisions blind. That’s kind of the rule. Sorry.

Some people do the logical thing and say, fine then, future. I just won’t play. And they sit in a corner watching television, watching sports, surfing youtube, making safe choices and numbing themselves with food and alcohol and television. Some people spend their entire lives thinking, “I could do that,” but they never do because first they have to make hard decisions without ever knowing the outcome, and that sucks.

A few people, though, a few people step into the darkness and say, “You know what, future? Screw you. I’m going to just do it. I’m coming in, I’m putting it all out there, I’m going to suck but I’m going to do it anyway.”

These people make mistakes. Lots of them. They get dirty, screw up, make messes. They’re weird and they’re out there and their moms deeply disapprove.

Here’s an interesting tidbit. Did you know that in the Bible, one sentence is repeated more often than any other? It’s two words: Fear not. Motocross, look out. God had dibs on it first. Expect a call from his attorney. Oh, wait. No attorneys in heaven.

Carry on, Motocross.

Point is, fear gets you nowhere but boring. If you want to do something, you’re going to have to be willing to screw up, because that’s a part of the package. The good news is, you don’t have to do it alone. We’re all groping in the dark trying to figure out what’s next.

And sometimes the best things happen when we stop trying so hard to be good, and just decide to be what we want, no matter how much we suck at it.

So, to wrap it all up because my time is about to wrap up. If there’s something you’ve been wanting to do–write, or draw, or run, or act, do it. Jump in there, all out. Go for it. No fear.

You’re almost certainly going to suck.

But the difference between you and the guy on the sideline watching life go by is that you are living. And if you keep getting up, keep living fearlessly, eventually you’re going to not suck anymore. No, that’s not right. You’re always going to suck sometimes. But those little flashes of brilliance that shine through every once in a while? Those are going to happen more often, last longer, have more impact the more you do it. And eventually the brilliance is going to outshine the suck.