Some Days Are

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Let’s be honest. I had a crappy day.

I woke up cranky, I stayed cranky, I’m still cranky.

I don’t like hosting yard sales. Not even a little bit. There is nothing about hosting a yard sale that I like. Not even the money because who are we kidding, $0.35 an hour is a crappy rate. But the kids have been pestering us for years to have a yard sale, and the husband thought our recent move provided a good reason to do it.

So we’re having a yard sale. Tomorrow. We spent the entire day moving things from one place to another, cleaning it up as necessary, pricing it, and displaying it so people can come through and say, “This fine art print from the National Museum that you paid $45 for and that’s listed at $2. Would you take 50 cents for it?”

And I’m writing a stupid blog entry at 10pm the night before because I said I would do it every day and by gum I’m doing it. But I am NOT happy about it. For the record.

I’m exhausted and tired and worn out and cranky. Oh, and in the midst of all the clean-up and clean-out, Gunner’s leash & training collar somehow got misplaced and I am HEARTBROKEN over it. Gunner and I run together every morning, despite the fact that Gunner cannot keep himself together at the sight of another dog, and that training collar is what keeps us sane. We’ve turned both houses and both cars upside down looking for it.

I’m also heartbroken over these things:

  • My grandma
  • My grandpa trying to go on without her
  • A little boy in Charlotte who died yesterday after jumping in a culvert to save his sister who had fallen in (she lived)
  • A little boy in my network whose cancer returned
  • All the trees in the yard at the old house that the children will never climb again after this weekend
  • My back (it hurts)
  • Getting up at 5am tomorrow and not even having enough time to write, because that’s what time I have to get up to have our stupid yard sale ready in time
  • Writing this blog entry

So, basically, ALL THE THINGS.

And I’m just not even going to apologize. I’m not going to say anything to make it all better, or to give it meaning, or to make it so that we all feel better about it in the end.

Because sometimes life is like this. Sometimes it’s just not all better at the end of the day. Some days you just hate everything, and that is just how it is.

Wait. Crap. I just can’t do it. Okay, so. I was at the Walmart picking up things we need for our yard sale (because you gotta spend money to make money. For a yard sale that translates to: “You gotta spend $70 to make $0.35,” in case you didn’t know), and muttering under my breath (by which I mean saying quite loudly because what point is there in griping if no one can hear you?) about how much I hated this day and how much I hated yard sales and how much I hated Wal-mart, and meanwhile I was trying to shove a carton of water bottles up under my cart and it just would not. Go.

So there I am, everything short of swearing, fully aware that everybody in the store thinks I’m a terrible parent because half of what I’m muttering loudly about is directed at Everett who is of course being EXTREMELY ANNOYING by standing beside me and existing. And I’m really hating these stupid water bottles and my stupid inability to get them into the cart and the store’s stupid inability to be less aggravating.

And a guy comes over and takes the water bottles from me, and puts them under my cart for me, and says he doesn’t understand why the carts have to be so low you can’t even fit things under them.

Just like that.

And I’d like to say that I thanked him and was inspired to an attitude change, but that would be only half true. I did thank him, but I still had a crappy day full of craptastic attitude (my own).

But I guess I’m just a TEENY bit grateful that there are people in the world who look at a shabbily dressed woman (did I mention that in my hair I have, no lie, dried bird poop AND dried goat cud? Don’t ask) griping at her 6-year-old and muttering (not-quite under her breath) hateful things about the world, and think: Hey, I bet there’s a lady who could use a little kindness in her day.

So I lied. I don’t hate ALL the things today. Just most of them.

Good night.

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